Snuggler

The past few days, Charlie has been doing something that just melts my heart. Now, I am not the sort of person who generally uses phrases like "melts my heart," but I can't think of a better phrase. So just indulge my cheesiness.

Charlie has been cuddling up to me when I carry him. Like, put his head down just under my shoulder, and snuggling in.

This may not sound like a big deal, but for a baby adopted at nearly a year old, it is a big deal. This is a sign that he is attached to us, that he trusts us.

It hadn't really occurred to me that he wasn't doing this previously. Although all 3 of my girls are snugglers now, I don't recall any of them being cuddlers at this age. I always think of the 1-2 year old set as being on the go, not wanting to be held, but rather wanting down to rip up books, empty the kitchen drawers onto the floor, splash in the dog's water dish, etc. So the fact that Jinjin, active as he is, wants to cuddle...just (ok, say it with me) melts my heart.

The Day of Sheref

You know the Seinfeld storyline about "The Summer of George?" Well, in our house we have "The Day of Sheref." Sheref works part-time, and I work full-time+, so Sheref ends up doing most of the household stuff and child-care. When I'm on call on the weekends (24 hr in-hospital shift, during which time I almost never sleep), he basically has them all day and night while I am gone, then he is kind enough to let me sleep most of the following day when I get home. We have a hard-working female resident who has 2 small kids, and her husband is sort of a d********. Every time she gets home from a 24hr shift with no sleep, her husband "lets" her take a nap for one hour and then makes her get up and watch the kids because he "needs some alone time" and he goes off and has "The Day of D********." (anyone guess what word I'm thinking of??) Sheref jokes that he is going to start doing this, but so far he is kind and lets me sleep!! No matter how much you love your kids, 36 hours alone with 4 children while trying to keep them quiet so Mama can sleep, is taxing, and some respite is needed. I on the other hand need some alone time with my kids, since I work so much.

So in our house, we have the tradition of "The Day of Sheref." This is a Saturday, every 2 months or so, where I get up early with Charlie and let Sheref sleep in. I do something fun with the kids, and Sheref gets the whole day to do whatever he wants. I think this usually involves some combination of Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, and the movie theater. Maybe a beer with friends. Whatever sounds fun.

Today was "The Day of Sheref." This morning, as he was leaving, he commented that "it's so warm and sunny outside. I haven't had a day with this much promise and open possibilities in such a long time!" He was sort of kidding (I think).

So the kids and I had a Dunkin' Donuts early morning, as per our usual Saturday routine.

Mom, watch how fast I can eat donuts!!

My, what big eyes you have, Rosie!

Guess what type of donut Lucy had?

We then cleaned. Now mind you, I would never claim to be the best parent in the world, and generally I never give advice or would even presume to give advice on how to parent. With one exception. My one brilliant, genius parenting move was to teach my kids at a very young age not only how to clean, but also that they HAVE to clean when I say so. Seriously genius. (Tip: Kids are especially useful for cleaning baseboards, because they are tiny and flexible and not old like their parents)

Here is Lucy folding her monster blanket. And, yes, Charlie is playing with an electric cord in the background. I promptly removed Charlie from the vicinity of electrical danger...

Don't worry. This was just a pose. They only clean with soap and water, or Ella is allowed to use an organic vinegar cleaner. Only grown-ups use chemical cleaners.

Ella used to like vacuuming, and she is surprisingly good at it. She used to think it was a treat. Sometimes I call her Cinder-ella, and joke that I'm the evil stepmother who just makes her clean all the time...I think she still thinks it's funny. We'll see how long the good-naturedness lasts!!

Charlie helped with laundry...

And he helped put away pots and pans...

Next we went to the SC Aquarium, and I forgot my camera, so no pics. After that, we had an ice cream party in the front yard, and played in the front for a while.

I've said it before: Lucy can not NOT pose.

Rosie...

Ella-bella

I had not planned on Charlie or I having any ice cream. However, when the girls came out with their cones, Charlie gave me a look like "Dude, seriously? You're not going to give me any?" So I spoon-fed him a bit...obviously, enthusiastic eater that he is, he loved it.

The aftermath...

Again, NOT posing is just not an option. This was in response to me saying "Just be natural. Play as if I'm not taking your picture." Oh well.

Pretty sure the passenger here has had a bit too much Jaegermeister.

Charlie had fun playing in the dirt...and woodchips...

Do you sense a theme? Poor guy is perpetually tied to a tree...

Shamrocks and Shepherd's Pie

For months, I have been getting home from work either after dark or right around dusk. Daylight savings time has given me a new lease on my evenings. And getting home today at 4pm was an extra treat. While Sheref and Ella finished her homework, the rest of us, Willie included, headed to a park close to our house. At the park, I learned several things:

1. Willie is really annoying when another dog is anywhere within his range of vision.

2. Lucy is a hypochondriac. She came running up to me no less than THREE times while at the park to show me her "injuries," 2 of which were apparently microscopic since I couldn't even see them. She kept asking me, "Is it going to heal?"

3. Charlie likes to play with wood chips as much as any other toy he has.

Oh, wait. I already knew all those things...

Here is what I really learned:

My children, contrary to what I have believed for years to be true, are indeed NOT the loudest children on earth. The 3 girls who were at Spinney Park this afternoon are. My kids might still be second...

Anyways, we had a fun time. All the park merriment was followed by a St. Patrick's Day party at our house. Well, that's how I billed it to the girls, at least. Apparently the party fell short of the girls' expectations. As Lucy was finishing her green-themed dinner, she said, "You mean that's IT? That's the whole party?"

Irish lass. Well, at least ~ 1/16th Irish!

Another diluted Irish beauty

Jinjin loved playing on this bouncy thing. He was absolutely delighted when he saw it and just giddy when I set him on it!

Even Willie had fun, or as much fun as one can have while tied to a tree.

Shamrocks for the girls. Only Mamas and leprechauns know the recipe...

Toasting St. Paddy's Day over shepherd's pie and shamrocks.

14 Things About Jinjin at 14 Months

1. He loves to clap. Particularly for himself...

2. He loves bathtime.

3. He likes to make his sisters laugh.

4. If we say "Charlie, pray" and make the motion of putting our hands together to pray, he quickly does the same and gets this really serious look on his face. So cute.

5. He has mastered the art of the sippy cup.

6. That said, he still loves his morning, nap and bedtime bottles!

7. He is so freakin' cute.

8. He L.O.V.E.S. his new walker toy. Pretty sure he would have started walking 2 months ago had we bought him a walker toy.

9. He can shove an entire donut-hole in his mouth with lightening speed.

10. He gets super mad when he is sitting in his high chair and runs out of food. Sort of funny, but mainly just loud...and annoying.

11. He has rockin' hair. Pretty sure I've put this on previous "X Things about Jinjin at X Months" posts, but, come on, it's true. His faux-hawk is super awesome.

12. Did I mention he shoves entire donut-holes in his mouth? He then gets mad when you fish it out of his mouth, because obviously 14 month olds should not eat such big bites. Oh, wait, 14 month olds shouldn't eat donut-holes at all, right?

13. He flirts with Asian women. I'm totally not kidding.

14. He is an awesome little guy!

Bad Word Mommy

The other day, Lucy told me I was a Bad Word Mommy. She didn't say it in an accusatory tone. No, it was stated more as an obvious, undeniable fact. Like the sky is blue, grass is green, water is wet, and "you're a Bad Word Mommy."

Lucy is very smart, perhaps the smartest Unal, and yeah, she's right: I am a Bad Word Mommy.

At Rose, Lucy and Charlie's "school" (daycare sounds way better when you call it school), they have a concept of "Potty Words." If you say a "potty word," you have to go sit in the bathroom. Truthfully, I sort of think this is an odd, and very possibly inappropriate, method of teaching, but whatevs. Rose and Lucy seem to think it's fine and normal. Say a bad word, go and sit by yourself on the toilet. Once again: whatevs. I can only control and stress about so much. Otherwise it's a very fine school.

However, "potty words" aren't just what I would consider bad words (for my family, just shut up...I know what you're thinking -- my threshhold might, just MIGHT, be a bit warped). "Potty words" also include "butt," "dumb," "stupid," "loser"...you get the picture. As I told Lucy the other day, some people and things are just.plain.dumb. It's ok to state the truth.

Like, for instance, "you are a Bad Word Mommy."

Park Day!

I usually leave this up to my wife, but she was on call today so I thought I'd try to post a few pics we took on our trip to a local park!

Is it different?

Is it different having an adopted child compared to a biological child?

This is a question I anticipated being asked a lot. In truth, no one has actually posed this question to me. Still, I've thought about it quite a bit. Whether or not it is different is not something I ever worried about. I knew I would have no problem loving an adopted child, and I think deep down I knew it wouldn't really be all that different for me.

Two "stories" here:

1. A resident in our department, who is very sweet and nurturing, someone you would anticipate being a great mother, said, when asked by another resident (who does not yet have children) about her newborn daughter "do you just love her so much?" -- "Well, yeah, I guess. You know, I don't really know her. I have to get to know her first."

2. Katherine Heigl, the actress, whom I used to consider silly and generally uninteresting, now is a subject of interest to me since she adopted a baby from Korea. She gave an interview to Redbook recently, in which she said, in response to being asked about bonding with her daughter: "My mother is a realist, and she's had biological and adoptive children, and she said it's no different: No matter what, they're putting a stranger into your arms. You don't know them yet. And she said don't be surprised if it takes a while to connect to her in that motherly way — don't feel bad, and don't think there's something wrong with you or your relationship with this child."

These two "stories" sum up how I feel about my initial moments of motherhood with all of my four children. And I think this is normal. I know there are people who say they instantly fell in love with their newborns, and I guess this could be true. Honestly, I sort of doubt it, but I can't judge other people's feelings. Maybe it lies in your definition of love. My definition of love says you can't love, like really LOVE, someone until you know them.

So I don't really feel differently about Charlie than I did about Ella, Rose or Lucy after knowing them for 4 months. I think differently about each of them, because of course they are 4 different people. Ella came about, and was born, differently than Rose and Lucy. Rose and Lucy, though born at the same time and of the same circumstances, are different people, with different strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Charlie is no different. He came about in different circumstances, came to us in different circumstances, than Ella, Rose and Lucy. So when I look at Rose and think about Rose, I think different things than when I think about Ella. Ditto Charlie. Each of my children has a different story. And that is wonderful.

So, no, it's really not that different. Loving all our children is wonderful, and we are very blessed.