Post-call musings of a tired Mama

So I have just finished a 24 hour on-call shift. I am very used to being on call, very used to working 24-36 hours straight with no sleep. I love my job, am immensely satisfied with my job, and have no desire to ever do anything else as my chosen profession. And if you call me at 2am because you are bleeding, or your baby is not moving or you are having severe pain, fevers, whatever, I will bend over backwards to make sure you get the most compassionate, most up-to-date, most excellent medical care I can provide. However, if you consider calling me at 2am for the any of the following reasons, please think twice about the best use of your time, and mine:

1) to ask if you are too far along to have an abortion (for any concerned readers, if there even are any readers, I don't do abortions...fyi)

2) to ask if you can ride roller coasters while you're pregnant

3) to tell me you think you have a yeast infection and could I please call something into your pharmacy for your life-threatening emergency yeast infection

4) to ask why my office called you 4 days ago and left a message that you didn't bother to return

5) to ask what causes headaches (yes, seriously, this has happened before -- the caller didn't have a headache; she was just wondering what causes them)

6) to ask if I can refill your birth control pills

7) to ask how you got chlamydia

There are so many more examples that make me laugh just thinking about, but I need to sleep.