The Last of the Korean PJs

Charlie's foster mom sent this pair of PJs home with him. They were brand new, still in their packaging. They are a very nice quality, thin cotton. They are slightly girly. And they have buttons on them. Yes, buttons, something I find both dangerous and sort of funny. Dangerous because aren't tiny buttons on baby PJs a perfect recipe for choking? Funny because the fact that I obsess about how it's so dangerous and should I let Charlie actually wear them to bed unsupervised while millions of Korean babies have obviously survived buttons on PJs just highlights how crazy Americans are.

They actually fit him 5 months ago. Shocking, no?

And, yes, it strikes me as a little sad that he has outgrown his only pair of Korean PJs.

15 Things about Jinjin at 15 Months

1. He is THIS close to walking. The kid has had the skills to walk for about 2 months, but I think just hadn't trusted himself. His foster mother described him as "timid," and at least when it comes to physical movement, I would agree. Lately, he is showing signs that he finally realizes he actually can walk!

2. He is greatly motivated by applause. Seriously! At his "school," they are very big into instilling confidence, positive reinforcement, blah blah blah. Consequently, everyone claps for everyone else at the drop of a hat. Charlie expects no less at home. Today I am fairly sure he stood up on his own and took a step on his own solely for the applause that followed. He was holding on to me, made sure we were all looking, then let go, stood on his own and did what looked like a little gymnast dismount with hands in the air. After we applauded, he proceeded to do this several more times. Have to say, I am also motivated by praise, so I understand the little guy!!

3. He got bitten at school this past week, prompting this:

Don't worry. It's very minor. We didn't even notice it, truthfully. The funniest thing to me is that they actually have a form made up for this very event. The hazards of one year old "school," I suppose...

4. He eats an amazing amount. Since we don't really know his genetic propensity to obesity, I worry a little that we let him eat too much. But whatever.

5. He L-O-V-E-S bathtime. He actually shrieks with delight when he sees me draw the bath.

6. We have still not heard one negative comment about race or adoption after 5 months with Charlie. Have to say, I am a bit surprised.

7. I made him up a little book, using Snapfish, of pictures of him with his foster family in Korea, pictures of him with Sheref and foster mom in Seoul, and pictures of him with us. He freakin' loves the book, and I love that he will always just know his story of Korea and how he came to be with us. How lucky we are to have so much documentation of the first 10 months of his life. Most internationally adopted children and families do not have that luxury.

8. He really likes sticks, leaves, and woodchips.

9. He, like Lucy, is mesmerized by television. Both of them, when the TV is on, just can. not. focus on anything else. Even more reason not to watch TV.

10. I may have posted this before, but when he sees a picture of his foster mom, he smiles and starts doing a little hand game that is very popular in Korea and that she did with him a lot. Yeah, this might be the sweetest thing ever.

11. We sent photos and a letter to his foster family recently.

12. We plan to send a similar packet for his birth mom soon.

13. We are just thrilled with his "school" and teachers. Charlie seems to love them, and we're so happy he is doing so great at school. { Well, minus being bitten. }

14. He loves Elmo.

15. He is just perfect.

Blatantly obvious revelations, and other musings

I have had "aha" moments with all of my children. What I mean by this is that, for each of my children, there was a moment of "WHOA, I have a BABY." With Ella, this moment was a few days after her birth. Sheref had to return to clerkships (we were both 3rd year med students at the time) just a few days after Ella was born, so I went out to stay with my parents, who lived just outside of the town we were in. I was sitting on the yellow and blue couch in their sunroom, looking at this absolutely breathtakingly beautiful baby girl, swaddled in a pink receiving blanket, lying in our brand new Moses basket. I remember saying out loud, "I can't believe I just had a baby."

For the twins, I think there were several moments in which Sheref and I thought, "Whoa, we just had TWINS..." As in TWO babies, as in two THREE pound babies. Whoa.

For Charlie, that moment was tonight. I looked at him, happy, giggly, joyfully splashing in the bathtub, and thought, "Whoa, we have a baby." A baby boy born half-way around the world, whose photo we found on our adoption agency's online photolisting of kids who for one reason or another could not be matched with any family. Not in South Korea. Not in the U.S. Not in the whole world. We saw his picture in the evening on Tuesday, June 22nd. By Friday, June 25th, he was ours. Really quite amazing. More amazing, in a way, than pregnancy and birth.

I read a lot of adoptive families' blogs. Many are excellent, some super cheesy, some just annoying (I generally don't read the annoying ones more than once...and cheesy is cool -- see my last post). So many people claim that their adoptive child was "meant" to be theirs, and very often their logic that God chose the exact right baby for them seems a little weak to me. Things like "his birthday is exactly 2 months from my husband's" (oooooh, forgive me for not seeing the destiny in that) or "her name means 'grace' in [whatever language], and Grace has always been my favorite name." I mean, I'm pretty sure 50% of names mean "grace" or something that could be translated as "grace," and isn't Grace 2/3 of Americans' favorite girls' name?? Nonetheless, I don't doubt the underlying sentiment.

Because, although I'm not naive (or cruel) enough to think that Charlie's birth mother was meant to have to relinquish her baby for adoption, he just seems like he was meant to be our son.

And that was my "aha" moment tonight.

Snuggler

The past few days, Charlie has been doing something that just melts my heart. Now, I am not the sort of person who generally uses phrases like "melts my heart," but I can't think of a better phrase. So just indulge my cheesiness.

Charlie has been cuddling up to me when I carry him. Like, put his head down just under my shoulder, and snuggling in.

This may not sound like a big deal, but for a baby adopted at nearly a year old, it is a big deal. This is a sign that he is attached to us, that he trusts us.

It hadn't really occurred to me that he wasn't doing this previously. Although all 3 of my girls are snugglers now, I don't recall any of them being cuddlers at this age. I always think of the 1-2 year old set as being on the go, not wanting to be held, but rather wanting down to rip up books, empty the kitchen drawers onto the floor, splash in the dog's water dish, etc. So the fact that Jinjin, active as he is, wants to cuddle...just (ok, say it with me) melts my heart.

The Day of Sheref

You know the Seinfeld storyline about "The Summer of George?" Well, in our house we have "The Day of Sheref." Sheref works part-time, and I work full-time+, so Sheref ends up doing most of the household stuff and child-care. When I'm on call on the weekends (24 hr in-hospital shift, during which time I almost never sleep), he basically has them all day and night while I am gone, then he is kind enough to let me sleep most of the following day when I get home. We have a hard-working female resident who has 2 small kids, and her husband is sort of a d********. Every time she gets home from a 24hr shift with no sleep, her husband "lets" her take a nap for one hour and then makes her get up and watch the kids because he "needs some alone time" and he goes off and has "The Day of D********." (anyone guess what word I'm thinking of??) Sheref jokes that he is going to start doing this, but so far he is kind and lets me sleep!! No matter how much you love your kids, 36 hours alone with 4 children while trying to keep them quiet so Mama can sleep, is taxing, and some respite is needed. I on the other hand need some alone time with my kids, since I work so much.

So in our house, we have the tradition of "The Day of Sheref." This is a Saturday, every 2 months or so, where I get up early with Charlie and let Sheref sleep in. I do something fun with the kids, and Sheref gets the whole day to do whatever he wants. I think this usually involves some combination of Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, and the movie theater. Maybe a beer with friends. Whatever sounds fun.

Today was "The Day of Sheref." This morning, as he was leaving, he commented that "it's so warm and sunny outside. I haven't had a day with this much promise and open possibilities in such a long time!" He was sort of kidding (I think).

So the kids and I had a Dunkin' Donuts early morning, as per our usual Saturday routine.

Mom, watch how fast I can eat donuts!!

My, what big eyes you have, Rosie!

Guess what type of donut Lucy had?

We then cleaned. Now mind you, I would never claim to be the best parent in the world, and generally I never give advice or would even presume to give advice on how to parent. With one exception. My one brilliant, genius parenting move was to teach my kids at a very young age not only how to clean, but also that they HAVE to clean when I say so. Seriously genius. (Tip: Kids are especially useful for cleaning baseboards, because they are tiny and flexible and not old like their parents)

Here is Lucy folding her monster blanket. And, yes, Charlie is playing with an electric cord in the background. I promptly removed Charlie from the vicinity of electrical danger...

Don't worry. This was just a pose. They only clean with soap and water, or Ella is allowed to use an organic vinegar cleaner. Only grown-ups use chemical cleaners.

Ella used to like vacuuming, and she is surprisingly good at it. She used to think it was a treat. Sometimes I call her Cinder-ella, and joke that I'm the evil stepmother who just makes her clean all the time...I think she still thinks it's funny. We'll see how long the good-naturedness lasts!!

Charlie helped with laundry...

And he helped put away pots and pans...

Next we went to the SC Aquarium, and I forgot my camera, so no pics. After that, we had an ice cream party in the front yard, and played in the front for a while.

I've said it before: Lucy can not NOT pose.

Rosie...

Ella-bella

I had not planned on Charlie or I having any ice cream. However, when the girls came out with their cones, Charlie gave me a look like "Dude, seriously? You're not going to give me any?" So I spoon-fed him a bit...obviously, enthusiastic eater that he is, he loved it.

The aftermath...

Again, NOT posing is just not an option. This was in response to me saying "Just be natural. Play as if I'm not taking your picture." Oh well.

Pretty sure the passenger here has had a bit too much Jaegermeister.

Charlie had fun playing in the dirt...and woodchips...

Do you sense a theme? Poor guy is perpetually tied to a tree...

Shamrocks and Shepherd's Pie

For months, I have been getting home from work either after dark or right around dusk. Daylight savings time has given me a new lease on my evenings. And getting home today at 4pm was an extra treat. While Sheref and Ella finished her homework, the rest of us, Willie included, headed to a park close to our house. At the park, I learned several things:

1. Willie is really annoying when another dog is anywhere within his range of vision.

2. Lucy is a hypochondriac. She came running up to me no less than THREE times while at the park to show me her "injuries," 2 of which were apparently microscopic since I couldn't even see them. She kept asking me, "Is it going to heal?"

3. Charlie likes to play with wood chips as much as any other toy he has.

Oh, wait. I already knew all those things...

Here is what I really learned:

My children, contrary to what I have believed for years to be true, are indeed NOT the loudest children on earth. The 3 girls who were at Spinney Park this afternoon are. My kids might still be second...

Anyways, we had a fun time. All the park merriment was followed by a St. Patrick's Day party at our house. Well, that's how I billed it to the girls, at least. Apparently the party fell short of the girls' expectations. As Lucy was finishing her green-themed dinner, she said, "You mean that's IT? That's the whole party?"

Irish lass. Well, at least ~ 1/16th Irish!

Another diluted Irish beauty

Jinjin loved playing on this bouncy thing. He was absolutely delighted when he saw it and just giddy when I set him on it!

Even Willie had fun, or as much fun as one can have while tied to a tree.

Shamrocks for the girls. Only Mamas and leprechauns know the recipe...

Toasting St. Paddy's Day over shepherd's pie and shamrocks.

14 Things About Jinjin at 14 Months

1. He loves to clap. Particularly for himself...

2. He loves bathtime.

3. He likes to make his sisters laugh.

4. If we say "Charlie, pray" and make the motion of putting our hands together to pray, he quickly does the same and gets this really serious look on his face. So cute.

5. He has mastered the art of the sippy cup.

6. That said, he still loves his morning, nap and bedtime bottles!

7. He is so freakin' cute.

8. He L.O.V.E.S. his new walker toy. Pretty sure he would have started walking 2 months ago had we bought him a walker toy.

9. He can shove an entire donut-hole in his mouth with lightening speed.

10. He gets super mad when he is sitting in his high chair and runs out of food. Sort of funny, but mainly just loud...and annoying.

11. He has rockin' hair. Pretty sure I've put this on previous "X Things about Jinjin at X Months" posts, but, come on, it's true. His faux-hawk is super awesome.

12. Did I mention he shoves entire donut-holes in his mouth? He then gets mad when you fish it out of his mouth, because obviously 14 month olds should not eat such big bites. Oh, wait, 14 month olds shouldn't eat donut-holes at all, right?

13. He flirts with Asian women. I'm totally not kidding.

14. He is an awesome little guy!

Bad Word Mommy

The other day, Lucy told me I was a Bad Word Mommy. She didn't say it in an accusatory tone. No, it was stated more as an obvious, undeniable fact. Like the sky is blue, grass is green, water is wet, and "you're a Bad Word Mommy."

Lucy is very smart, perhaps the smartest Unal, and yeah, she's right: I am a Bad Word Mommy.

At Rose, Lucy and Charlie's "school" (daycare sounds way better when you call it school), they have a concept of "Potty Words." If you say a "potty word," you have to go sit in the bathroom. Truthfully, I sort of think this is an odd, and very possibly inappropriate, method of teaching, but whatevs. Rose and Lucy seem to think it's fine and normal. Say a bad word, go and sit by yourself on the toilet. Once again: whatevs. I can only control and stress about so much. Otherwise it's a very fine school.

However, "potty words" aren't just what I would consider bad words (for my family, just shut up...I know what you're thinking -- my threshhold might, just MIGHT, be a bit warped). "Potty words" also include "butt," "dumb," "stupid," "loser"...you get the picture. As I told Lucy the other day, some people and things are just.plain.dumb. It's ok to state the truth.

Like, for instance, "you are a Bad Word Mommy."

Park Day!

I usually leave this up to my wife, but she was on call today so I thought I'd try to post a few pics we took on our trip to a local park!